It happens far less now than it has in the past, but there have been nights when I've been so depressed or stressed out I'd silently cry myself to sleep. It would even get to the point where I'd awaken and find myself weeping; I'd have to force myself to get up and splash my face with water to hopefully avoid developing swollen, puffy eyes the next morning.
As lucky and blessed as most of us should genuinely feel, certain life situations sometimes arise and just kill our chests and stomachs with turmoil and sadness, so we raise our faces to the heavens or drop them to the earth and ask, "WHY?"
Then we look around, actually register the situations of some people around us, forcibly shake ourselves ~ sometimes none-too-gently ~ and think, "Whoa. Whoa, I have it so good, because damn, that *sucks*. At least my problems are so often built up in my head and heart, but she.. she has real problems in the physical world to contend with, along with whatever other emotional stuff she has to live through like everyone else. Okay, I totally appreciate my life a whole lot more now."
And honestly, if this little exercise doesn't do anything to help rattle some perspective into a tortured soul and troubled mind, try this other activity I just came up with: grab a metropolitan weekly you get from the newsboxes, grocery stores and cafés ~ you know, the ones with Dan Savage columns in the back. The next time you start feeling like crap, flip to the back page of said weekly and start reading... and realize once again that maybe life could just be a bit worse than what's getting you down.
For instance, here are some (hopefully) designed to make you either laugh... or furrow your brow in confusion:
RAD DYKE PLUMBER!
206-7**-26**
POETIC BODY
Excellent Massage. North Seattle, 206-7**-57**
ASIAN ANGELS TOUCH
DEEP TISSUE/SWEDISH.
3 STAFF
(425) 7**-89** $50/HR
VRTUL VACATION Massage
206-7**-57**
And then we find these treasures that remind us about just how lucky we are to have different, perhaps less clinging problems:
Single with Herpes?
If you have had at least 2 sex partners in the last year, you may be eligible for a paid research study.
UW Vir. Research Clinic
206-7**-43**
(You know what? That one really blows, because what if you had sex twice, once each with two different partners, and they were both damned awful experiences? *And* you contracted some disgusting, stinky STD from either one or both of them? ERGGHHHHH. Makes me happy for everything I've got... and by that, I mean no sexbuggies ~ ever! Reminds me of Girl Friday recounting some of her adventures working as a nurse in a low-income sexual health clinic in East St. Louis. Oh, the sights and smells that have seared themselves in her memory...)
Do you know where your significant other is this weekend?
QT Investigations. Since 1996. Surveillance, Background Checks, Personal Security Escort.
425-5**-76**
(Honestly, no explanation necessary for how sick-making this particular one is. BLLLAWWWRR.)
And here's the best, saved for last. This came to my attention one afternoon during our kids' ninja classes. Tank Girl and I were chatting, and she asked, "Do you want to see my favourite ad ~ bar none ~ EVER?"
Who am I to say "no"? This one totally takes the cake:
SEX OFFENDER REGISTRATION GOT YOU DOWN?
We may be able to help you remove that requirement.
Rh*des * Mery*ew, LLLP (206) 2**-15**
Oh, poor YOU, you convicted sex offender, you. Whatever happened to good, old-fashioned anonymity for molesters and rapists?
Now don't you feel so much better?
(photo credit: the T-shirt above is available through one of my favourite "bad" sites: http://www.engrish.com/. They have some awesome merch on that site, as well as Asian signage in English gone far too wrong; definitely check it out.)
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